Have you noticed that there seems to be so much more lying lately? It’s commonplace. It’s an epidemic! People lie more easily than they tell the truth!
And within “Christian” circles, the same holds true: there are so many liars!!
Sometimes the lies are passed off as “personal truths.” As in: “Speak your truth!”
Have you heard that phrase, “Speak your truth”? That phrase drives me bonkers!!
I understand, in some cases, that when people talk about “speaking ones truth,” that they actually mean “don’t be afraid to speak your mind,” or “don’t be afraid to give your opinion.” However, I’ve seen this phrase most often used as an excuse for people to lie, yet try to pass off their so-called “opinion” or “personal truth” as actually being the truth.
Here’s a crazy thought: why don’t we stop speaking “our” truth and start speaking THE TRUTH?!
But it’s frightening and sad and infuriating to see so many lies!
I’ve been lied to much of my life.
I’ve been gaslighted much of my life.
For much of my life, when I’ve spoken the truth, I’ve been called a liar by people (specifically my mother, and more recently by a former “christian life coach” and his ignorant and blind fan base) who are liars themselves, because they are attempting to cover up their own lies.
And because of what Carolyn and I do on our joint website, sometimes we are lied to and about, as well, both privately (usually via email) and publicly.
Most of the time (depending upon the situation), when I hear of these lies, I ignore them. It still bothers me, of course, but I realize that I can’t control what people say, and so I ignore them. I just continue sharing the TRUTH, as best as I’m able, and try to not worry overly much about the lies, because if I make it my life’s mission to call out every liar for being a liar, I’d probably get nothing else done…. There are just so many liars!
And a girl’s gotta get her beauty rest sometime, ya know? lol 😉
But other times, it’s appropriate for me to make a stronger stand and to refuse to cover up the lies of other people by my silence. Sometimes the right thing to do is to call the liar out for what they are: A LIAR.
Calling out liars for their lies never ends well at all, of course, and by the time it’s all said and done, I’m often left wondering why I wasted my breath at all….
But then again, calling out a liar for their lies isn’t an easy job, so why should I expect it to be? Calling out a liar will never end well, and if I’m looking for a happy ending, then I might as well save my breath, energy, sanity, and time!
So when I call people out for their lies against me and/or Carolyn (either privately or publicly, depending upon whether the lie was made in private or made in public), I don’t ever expect it to go well. And I don’t call them out on their lies because I expect them to stop lying. Or to apologize for spreading lies. Because I know that with liars, that’s never going to happen!
But when I choose to call people out for their lies, it’s simply because it’s the right thing to do at that time, and they need to be called out!
I mean, I’m not trying to act as if I’m the “morality police” over here… (Boy, that thought is laughable!). So, like I said, most of the time, I ignore the lies, and just continue to share the truth.
But sometimes it’s appropriate for me to speak out.
Now, there’s a certain amount of discernment and grace that needs to be applied to each situation and with each person. I strongly believe in this, and I try to give every person the opportunity to do and say the right thing. After all, sometimes we make mistakes. We’re human, after all! Mistakes are part of life!
Sometimes we misspeak (or mis-write) for whatever reason, and then have to go back and correct ourselves. This happens with everyone at one time or another, and an occasional anomaly doesn’t necessarily indicate that there’s a deeper issue that needs to be dealt with.
Sometimes we share our “opinion” in a way that makes it sound as if it’s “the truth” when it is not “the truth,” but simply our “opinion,” and when it’s brought to our attention, then we can go back and apologize or correct ourselves or clarify ourselves, or whatever the case may be…
And sometimes we can tell an untruth (a lie) because we lack understanding of the actual truth… or because we were given improper or incomplete information… or because we have fallen prey to the lies of other people that we so ignorantly and foolishly believed… etc.
You get the idea.
So, I don’t automatically assume that every “untruth” that comes out of people’s mouths (or that is written in “Internet Land”) is necessarily an indication that that person is an outright liar.
I’m probably this way because of what I’ve been through in my life, but I’m (usually) better at spotting inconsistencies than frogs are at catching bugs, and if someone speaks (or writes) an untruth (an inconsistency), it certainly gives me pause!
So I watch and listen to that person more carefully than I might have otherwise, looking for other inconsistencies, because with a normal person (one who is not a liar, in other words), one or two inconsistencies doesn’t necessarily indicate a pattern.
There’s room for grace, in other words.
But with liars, where there is one inconsistency, there will be many others to follow, and when there is a clear pattern of inconsistencies, that is a sure sign of a liar. There will always be a pattern of lies with those who are liars.
They can’t help it! Liars do what liars do best: they lie!
And I absolutely hate lying. I absolutely despise liars.
Liars are manipulators. They are control-freaks. They are gaslighters. They are gossipers and backbiters.
Liars do their dead-level best to ruin other people in whatever ways they can: emotionally, mentally, spiritually, even physically, if they can.
Liars do their dead-level best to ruin other people’s reputations.
Liars thrive on unnecessary drama, and when there isn’t enough drama to feed their addiction, they start lying about someone or something in an effort to stir up more drama.
And when liars are called out for their lies, liars lie about lying!
Liars absolutely hate the truth. They usually know the truth — not in a “biblical sense,” so to speak, where they are intimate with the truth… but in the sense that they have knowledge of the truth — which is why they are so effective in dodging the truth, because they can see truth coming for them… and they quickly jump out of the way and hide from the truth… or put up their shield to deflect the truth… or whip out their sword to try to murder the truth.
So yes, they know the truth; but they refuse to love the truth. They refuse to become intimate with the truth, to hold truth close to them and to protect and defend the truth.
Liars despise the truth. They try to kill the truth, because the truth is dangerous to them. The truth frightens them. The truth puts a mirror up to their face and forces them to see themselves as the liar that they are, and liars don’t want to see the truth. They prefer to live their lies.
So if you ever decide to call out a liar for being a liar, don’t expect them to own up to lying! They will NEVER own their own lies, because liars lie!
They will undergo a campaign of gaslighting to whatever degree they are able, often saying things such as:
“Oh, you misunderstood me!”
“I didn’t mean it that way!”
“No, that’s not how it happened!”
“You’re just paranoid!”
And then the liar will attempt to “correct” your perception of their outright lie, by backtracking and attempting to cover up their first lie with even more lies that they pile on top.
They will engage in gaslighting, in an attempt to make other people think that you are crazy or a liar or delusional or paranoid.
They will start deflecting, in an attempt to confuse the situation and throw the spotlight off of them and onto some other insignificant minutia.
They will often start a smear campaign, to one degree or another, in a calculated attempt to ruin your reputation, and to make other people think that you are the liar for calling them out for the lies that they told.
“Christian” liars, when you call them out for their lies, will also say things like:
“I forgive you for being mean to me.”
“I forgive you for calling me ugly names.”
“I forgive you for lying about me.”
“I will pray for you.”
(So-called “Christian” liars are the WORST, in my opinion, because they already feel justified within themselves — self-righteous — almost as if they are incapable of doing or saying anything wrong at all, because… they call themselves “Christian.”)
I don’t know how to end this article.
I guess I’ll just end it by saying this: I am not afraid of liars. You do not scare me. You can not manipulate me. You can not intimidate me. I will not succumb to your gaslighting techniques. I will not fellowship with or pretend to be okay with or “hang out” with you. And I will not cover for your lies by staying silent. If you don’t want to be called out for your lies, then stop lying.
And that’s all I want to say.
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