Welcome and Introduction

Hi. πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by to check out my personal blog.

While the blog I share with my friend, Carolyn Hamlett, has a specific purpose, this blog will be just another average blog, serving as an avenue through which to share bits and pieces of my personal testimony here and there, as I’m able and as I feel comfortable doing so, as well as sharing general information about me and my life, and thoughts I have.

So, I might talk about personal insights; I might talk about my past; I might share some recipes; I might discuss what I did over the weekend. Or I might not write much of anything at all and eventually shut down the blog again.

Time will tell. πŸ™‚

I do hope, however, that in the process of sharing my thoughts and experiences that others will somehow be helped and maybe even have their own experiences validated. That was my original intention when I first started this blog several years ago, but when everything fell apart in my life, I shut everything down. I shut down. It was just too much to handle. And since I had been involved in a lot of “christian” mysticism, my blog wasn’t at all helpful to anyone, including myself. In fact, I see now where I was leading people into the same demonic delusions that I was falling prey to!

So shutting down my blog was absolutely the right decision at that time, and I’m glad I did. Not only was I leading people into the same witchcraft I was involved in at the time, but it was also one more distraction that was preventing me from focusing on the very most important thing of all: a relationship with the True God, my Heavenly Father.

About Sharing My Bio

So for those who used to follow this blog and who have asked me where my full testimony went and if I’m going to share it again: probably not.

At least, not the way I had before, and not necessarily with the same details I had shared before.

Here’s why.

When I first started writing down and sharing my testimony, I was being “counseled” by an individual who encouraged me to share things that I have since regretted.

β‡’ Although this probably won’t mean much, except to those few people who are aware of the awful ordeal I went through with that so-called “deliverance counseling,” to learn about this, you can start off by reading this article:

https://askcarolynandloren.com/resources-ecw/why-we-left-bride-ministries/

At any rate, through that so-called “counseling” process, I was processing some of the events in my life (both past and present) through the lens of someone who was still being mind-controlled, handled, and programmed through that so-called “deliverance counseling.” Therefore, I wasn’t always gaining an accurate understanding of everything I had been through and everything I was going through during that time of “counseling.”

One example of this is angels.

I’ve had experiences with some spiritual beings, some of which I used to believe were angels. And when I previously shared my testimony, I was sharing through the lens of that perspective β€” a skewed perspective that was encouraged by, and at times purposefully facilitated by, my “deliverance counselor” during sessions with him. Two years and several nervous breakdowns later, I began to realize that I had been lied to and used by the demonic (and my “counselor” who was using me β€” and others β€” to build his own career), and those “angelic beings” were not what I had believed them to be, and they were not who my so-called “deliverance counselor” had told me they were. Those “angels” were not angelic beings from the Heavenly Father, but some were actually demonic beings; some of them were so-called “Ascended Masters” (fallen angels); and in one instance, “angel programming” had been triggered during this so-called “counseling,” causing one of my main internal self helpers to actually believe herself to be an angel, a programmed delusion that was encouraged and facilitated by my so-called “counselor” at that time.

And so, after having fallen for such a huge deception, particularly in such a public way, I’m not very savvy on sharing a ton of details about my own testimony in the same way that I shared it before. I’m still trying to process a lot of what I have gone through, and I need time and space to come to my own understanding without the pressure of sharing intimate details before I’m ready to share… and certain things I may never share at all.

This doesn’t mean, however, that I won’t share anything at all about myself. Hence, this blog.

I’ve already written a short bio with a few details that I feel (mostly) comfortable sharing at this time. You can read it here.

I’ve also written a few articles on the blog I share with Carolyn, that have detailed some other important experiences in my life. I’m working on editing them and putting them here on my personal blog, but for now, you can read those articles here, here, and here.

About Me

But to give a quick overview, I have survived severe abuse that was ongoing from birth through my young adult years, including physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse. These abuses occurred at home, mostly from my mother and her second husband, but also briefly from a step-grandfather and two step-brothers; through a spiritually abusive and oppressive environment that centered around the Oneness Apostolic/UPC churches I was born into; through satanic ritual abuse; and through professional mind-control programming. Because of those things, I developed a dissociative disorder early on in life that I didn’t recognize until several years ago, and this is why I sometimes refer to the other “parts” of myself.

β‡’ See: “An Overview to Understanding Dissociation and D.I.D.

I am finding healing by learning to daily walk in a relationship with my Heavenly Father (something that is only made possible through Jesus Christ) as Jesus Christ commanded: denying myself, taking up my cross, and following Him by walking in obedience to the Word of God (the Bible) and in obedience to the will of the Father.

It is my ultimate desire to share the message of the love of the true God Who calls us all to repentance and to reconciliation with Him, and to share the healing message of hope for all those who turn to Him and put no other before Him. And I hope this blog will help facilitate this very simple message.

But aside from all that, here are a few other tidbits things about me that you may or may not find interesting:

1. First and foremost, contrary to the slander that some evil, godless liars are spreading, I am a believer in and a follower of Jesus Christ, through whom salvation comes. I believe that the Word of God (the Bible) is infallible, that the words should be studied and interpreted properly and within context, and, by the grace of God, that we should strive to live by the standards of God found therein.

There’s much more to my faith than this simple statement, and I certainly don’t claim or believe to have the fullness of understanding of the truth, because I am still and will always be learning. But this short summary will suffice for now.

2. I am married to a wonderful man who loves me and whom I love very much, too. He’s a blessing from God! ❀

3. I have been blessed with three wonderful children from my first marriage, all grown now. I’m very proud of them and I love them very much. ❀

4. My husband has been blessed with two wonderful children by his first marriage, and (so far) blessed with three precious grandchildren. So, by proxy, I’ve been a grandma, too, for several years now… Yikes! πŸ˜€

5. Although I’m not a “health nut” (and there’s nothing wrong with being a health nut… I’m just not one), I’m a believer in healthy living. And although I’m not perfect by any means, I strive to live a healthy lifestyle as much as I possibly can.

6. I believe that education is very important, and is best pursued in the manner which suits each individual. I believe that each person should make their own decisions regarding their education and the education of their children, and because of this, I home schooled each of my three children. It’s what worked best for us, but this may not work best for other people. And that’s okay.

7. I am more Libertarian than not when it comes to how I believe government should be run, but generally speaking, I ignore politics. It no longer interests me in the way it used to. Many politicians (particularly on a national and global level) are simply being puppeted by the fallen, and used for the over-reaching purposes of the demonic. So once you realize this fact, it’s easy to not be swayed by the particular political environment that the politicians and their minions foment.

8. I believe that people have rights; not the State.

9. I’m easily frustrated by the lack of clear communication, and since, either by nature or nurture (probably a bit of both), I am not a good verbal communicator, I prefer written communication. Verbal communication is difficult for me, but I’m working at being better at this. πŸ™‚

10. I love my pets. Currently, this includes three indoor cats and a dog:

IMG_20180508_153230136.jpg
Ellie (playing in the curtains)

Ellie β€” our beautiful, blue-eyed, cross-eyed, temperamental “top cat” who basically has us trapped by our heart-strings (and her claws if we pet her when she did not request to be adored), but her heart belongs to our youngest son, whom she seems to have adopted as her “human cat,” regardless of how often he unexpectedly grabs her and drapes her across his shoulders.

IMG_20180424_191937967.jpg
Mouse

Mouse β€” our sweet and squatty little one-eyed scaredy cat who is very lovable but gets her feelings hurt very easily, especially when it’s bedtime and she’s runs under the bed to hide but we chase her out with the broom because she always jolts us awake right as we are falling asleep, loudly meowing to be let out of the room.

IMG_20180510_200600740.jpg
Harvard “Harvey” Cane

Harvey β€” a.k.a., “Harvard Cane” when he’s being naughty (can my fellow Texans guess where he got his name from? πŸ˜‰ ), which is quite often, and getting into things that he shouldn’t be getting into, which is quite often, and stalking Mouse, which is quite often (but with a name like “Mouse,” can a mom blame a cat for stalking?! It’s hardly his fault, I’m sure…!).

IMG_20180424_191922223.jpg
Cleveland (he’s camera shy)

Cleveland β€” a lovable, goofy, slobbery (and at times, farty), peace-making, red-nosed Pit named Cleveland who loves and is very protective of his cats, although he prefers the back end of cats rather than the front end because he’s learned that the back end doesn’t have claws, and apparently, he prefers the smell of the back to the front.

:/

Ellie is not amused.

11. I love working in my little garden and taking afternoon walks with my husband and Cleveland. When it’s too hot to walk (and my goodness, it’s been HOT the past few weeks!), we ride our bikes.

12. I love to cook. Although I’m certainly no chef (but I do love watching cooking shows!), my husband often declares every meal to be “the best meal ever.” At first I was worried that since he declares so many meals to be the best, that I wouldn’t be able to live up to his expectations for good meals at every meal time! But I’ve since come to the conclusion that any decently palatable meal is “the best meal ever.” So… whew! Pressure’s off!

πŸ˜€

13. Sometimes I love baking, depending upon which part of me is up front at the moment.

14. I love peanut butter but not peanuts, unless they are raw. (I do love pecans, though.)

15. I love being around bodies of water, but I do not like to swim. I know how to swim, but swimming scares me. So I don’t swim.

I didn’t always used to be afraid of swimming, but I’ve noticed that as I grow older, sometimes my triggers evolve. So, something that didn’t used to bother me (such as swimming), now does. It’s weird and it makes no sense, I don’t suppose. But it is what it is….

Maybe it has something to do with suppressing my emotions and not dealing with trauma, so eventually those emotions related to trauma and stress surface in different ways, including manifesting in phobias or aversions that I didn’t previously have.

Maybe.

Or maybe I’m full of psychobabble and am overthinking the situation, as I guess I have the tendency to do sometimes.

πŸ˜€

But that’s okay β€” I’d rather overthink than underthink, a point which leads to number 16…

16. I enjoy overthinking, but prefer the term “analyze.” It just sounds nicer.

17. I enjoy crafting, but rarely finish anything. But I still enjoy it, so I guess that’s the important thing.

18. I’m an introverted person. I don’t have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are very close, and this is what I prefer.

19. I enjoy the art of communication through writing.

And I can get long-winded.

Apologies in advance.

20. There are parts of me who enjoy cleaning, but so far, I haven’t found any part of myself who loves to do laundry. Thankfully, my husband loves doing laundry. Go figure…. πŸ˜›

Until next time,

Blessings! ❀

~ Loren


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4 comments

  1. Wonderful! I used to read your old blog, and was a bit worried when you shut it down. I kept your link on my feedreader, and today I see 3 new posts! So glad to see you back and doing well! Thanks and glory to Jesus! I’ve never had to go through the things you have – but I am a cheerleader for those who have made it through! This really brightened my day! Jesus bless you and keep you!

    Like

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